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The Assless Chapel Newsletter #19: Are We Starting this All Over Already?

The Chaplain’s Weekly Screed

I am yet to get everything cleaned up and packed away – really. But it is time to start thinking – not yet doing, but thinking – about The Assless Chapel Animalia Edition. And we have a lot of big news this week. The ticketing cycle has already begun for us, in some ways.

The first words of the Torah / Old Testament are בְּרֵאשִׁית בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים אֵת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְאֵת הָאָרֶץ.

Different source texts translate this in different ways. But the plain, ancient Hebrew is something like, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the land.” Another, very literal translation would be “At the head of it, gods created the skies and the land.” In any case, it’s just one of many creation stories. Recently, Obi, my 7-year old, pondered a reality in which we all existed, but had no world to live in until Bob Ross painted that world. I bought him a Bob Ross chia pet for Christmas.

At the Assless Chapel, we have our own creation stories. Each one of us. I love thinking back to when I first met some of you on Facebook; when I first reached out to Curtis and he said he might not be coming in 2022; when I first told Yosi to plan on us getting tickets; our first Zoom calls; our first hugs upon arriving. And now, it’s time to re-create our story.

Group News

No Group News to report, but let me know if you’ve got something to share.

Black Rock City News

Upcoming Campfire talks include ‘Ask a Placer!’ on February 11th, at 10a. I plan to make that one – get my face in front of the Placers! Tuesday February 21st at 5p is a session about sharing resources with neighbors – I’m skipping that one.

Today is Larry Harvey’s birthday. Not sure when the other founders were born, but here’s a nice quote from Larry:

"Burning Man isn't about my story, but it does tend to attract people who feel they can be themselves when they can't be at home. When you come to an event, we say, 'Welcome home.' You've finally found that group of people who accepts you for who you are."

This year’s temple will be the Temple of the Heart. And Burning Man has added this year’s photos to the official gallery of Burning Man photos.

Placement / Ticket News

Things are starting to heat up with placement and ticketing. I filled out and delivered our Statement of Intent, as required, to BORG. In case you were wondering, the weirdest thing I mentioned in there was the hope that, in line with the Animalia theme, we get to marry someone wearing a butt-plug with an animal tail. I requested an increase in our ticket allocation to 5 tickets. They’ll let us know in a month.

By the end of this month, BORG should be releasing the MOOP map. Let’s hope we got rated green – that’s the biggest threat to our returning.

On February 22nd, our Placed Camp Questionnaire – assuming we’re invited to return – will be open. Be prepared for questions from me. In fact, I’ve got one now: Should we ask for a different location or do we want to return to our 2022 spot at 4:30 and C, in the Gayborhood? I liked our location, but I’m not trying to get laid, which is the only reason I could see for switching things up. That being said, I want to hear from you.

BORG released some important ticketing dates (always opens and ends at noon on the given dates):

· FOMO Sale: February 1-3; 1000 tickets at $2,750; 3,000 at $1,500; this disqualifies you from Main Sale, STEP and OMG. Learn more here.

· Stewards Sale: March 8-10: By the time we buy these tickets, we’ll have developed a strategy for getting all the tickets we need for the camp.

· Ticket Aid Program: March 15 – May 24 (application period); apply early, if they hit their quote, they close the program; $225 tickets. More info here.

· Main Sale Registration: April 5-7.

· Main Sale: April 12; 15,000 tickets at $575.

· STEP Sale: unknown.

· OMG Registration: July 26-28.

· OMG Sale: August 2nd; 3000 tickets at $575.

Upcoming Tasks

· Decide if you’ll be part of The Assless Chapel in 2023. I’ll want to know soon.

· Let me know if you have any news to share.

· Send me your feedback on the camp’s placement.

Closing Thoughts

The first Burning Man, on Baker Beach in San Francisco, was attended by 20 people and The Man was just 8’ tall. Since then, depending on the year, the Man has exceeded 100’ in height and, in 2022, some 80,000 people attended. And there’s an official story of that first Burn from an agency of the United States Federal Government. I don’t expect The Assless Chapel to significantly increase its population, but I do look forward to the way our infrastructure and events evolve and improve every year. As Eleanor Roosevelt said:

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

The Man burns in 234 days!

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